Buttering up the Tongue

Feathery, Flouncy, Flummery, Flamboyant, Fanatical Flattery!

A silver tongued devil, sweet talker, smooth talker, snow job, smoozing, shoveling it on, and laying it on thick.

I won’t tell you how impacting Deborah Smith Pegues “3o Days to Taming You Tongue”   is because, today,  I doubt you are going to believe me.

But on any other day, ooooh…. the wonderful things I would tell you!

(serious face on, Deborah, if you ever read this, I very much appreciate the correction and the deep look at me)

Day 2 in the book deal with our flattering words and their motives.

Flattery is all about you and me getting our needs and approval met by seducing some one else with complimentary words.

The motive?  Always, and only all about US!

Socrates put it this way; “Flattery is like friendship in show, but not in fruit ” 

We’ve probably all said it, and at some point, had it dished out right back at us.

Flattery is shallow and insecure.
I  lavish kind words on you that have no depth to them.

The words have no substance, and you, the hearer, usually know it.

Most of us have built in flattery antennas and big red sirens that go off when it starts flowing.

Every mommy knows that when children, which  are instinctive wheelers and dealers, starts with “ You’re the best mommy in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD”  a negotiation is sure to follow.

What’s really going on when I’m showering you with praises?

Deborah writes:

Flattery is a lie covered in a bed of flowery words.

Most people who engage in this disobedient communication do so to gain favor.

The desired favor is not always something material or tangible; it can be an intangible benefit, such as acceptance. The flatter may have low-self worth and believe others will like him if he compliments them.

The bitter irony of positive sounding  flattery, is that it brings very negative results.

The bible holds back nothing when it refers to flattery.
God has a very firm opinion and gives very strong warning against it.

Flattery  accomplishs the exact opposite from that which it was intended.

A flatter will not find the favor they are seeking.

But, on the contrary, favor is found by the one who is truthful, even if it is a correction.

Whoever rebukes a person will in the end gain favor
 rather than one who has a flattering tongue.

Proverbs 28:23


What is the difference between flattery and  encouragement and edification, which we should be lifting each other up with.

Its all about your heart and motives behind your words.

The motive for flattery is selfish and self-exalting.

Encouragement is exactly as it sounds; to encourage, giving courage, to build up and lift up another.

One definition of encourage  is to to impart courage, inspiration, and resolution.

In the purest sense , it is allowing the Holy Ghost, who is called the “encourager”  in some translations, to use your lips to speak life into someone else.

Father, in the name of Jesus,

Set a guard over our mouths so that our words will be only words that build someone else. Words that are used by you.

Father, we set aside any need we have to be built up by another, and we set ourselves to be built up by you.
We chose to humble ourselves under your mighty hand so we may be lifted up by you.

We ask for wisdom to know when the motives of our words are impure.
We ask for forgiveness for times where we have used words of encouragement for our own gain.

By faith we choose to build ourselves up from this point on in the Holy Ghost and our idenity in you.

For all those reading, Father, I ask for encouragement and edification from you.

Surround them with courage and words of life.

In Jesus name,



You may have guessed by now that I am NOT one for coincidences!
   Thats why I absoulutely ENCOURAGE YOU to pop by and visit this beautiful blog post entitled ” HOLY SPIRIT our Encourager”I  ” accidently” (ya.. uh huh…) stumbled across it while preparing this post.It gets two great big encouraging thumbs up from me!It was the perfect reminder for me, in some of my situations, that: “The Holy Spirit NEVER discourages the people of God. He may rebuke us, He may convict us, but He NEVER discourages us. The ultimate input from the Holy Spirit is ALWAYS positive, never negative.”

and that  ”  if there in your mind maybe right now, some force that’s telling you it’s no good, you’ll never make it, you can’t do it, you’re a failure, God has given up on you. Just let me ASSURE YOU, that is not the Holy Spirit and it’s not the truth! It’s a lie. The Holy Spirit comes with the truth. The devil comes with lies.”

You have no idea how much I needed to hear that!


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